Matching and mirroring operates on the principle that people like people who are like themselves. These are easy openers that only use video and can take 1–3 minutes. You can use just one or combine 2 to 10 of these openers. You can sequence the openers, such as lower-energy or easier openers followed by openers that have more energy or that are more complex.
Behavioral research shows that matching and mirroring—copying other people’s body language, mannerisms, and repeating their words—helps build trust and establishes rapport. This benefit can help your meeting attendees get into sync or rapport at the beginning of the meeting and help the results of your meeting by the end.
Here is a story of how powerful matching and mirroring can be.
I was at a training program showing how matching and mirroring is a valuable meeting skill. When I learned this skill, we were divided into teams of three. One person, Helen, was asked to strongly imagine an emotionally intense experience. I was the second person and I attempted to match that person’s body position, breathing, and muscle tension as much as possible. The third person, Alan, coached me on how to move or change to match the first person exactly.
After five minutes of getting into and holding this position, I imagined that she was in a white building with stained glass, she was kneeling up front and was contemplating a big decision.
After the exercise, she disclosed she was in her white church in Georgia with stained glass, kneeling and praying in the front row. She was trying to decide if she was going to stay in her marriage.
Reminder: I had just met Helen and had no idea of what she was imagining. Needless to say, we were all blown away as I was able to connect with her in a meaningful way even though I had just met her.
The point of the exercise is that the correct use of matching and mirroring is one of many ways to help build strong connections between team members in a short amount of time. While you may not see somebody’s experience, you can get your attendees to feel more connected and
engaged with each other.
An example of Walk Like An Egyption is at 3 minutes, 21 seconds.
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